I arrived home after it had fallen dark. Stepping off the bus I looked to the sky, hoping to see stars. But to my misfortune, it was simply too cloudy to see a single one shining.
Deeply enjoying ‘The Anatomy of a Calling’ written by Lissa Rankin, listening to some inspiring music curled up into the sofa, the dogs sat and stared at me as they do when they want to be taken out for a walk.
I gathered myself and set foot out of the door.
My oh my oh my. I have never seen the stars shining so brightly!
When I gaze at the stars, I yearn to become lost in them. To be one of them. To be in that velvety sky, in the cosmos, as a star. Floating as a fiery ball, bathing in my bliss. In my ecstatic electricness.
This can lead to a melancholy. As I begin to regret being human, with all of my humanness.
It might sound crazy. Maybe I can’t explain it. How I wish to be in the sky. To understand it. To feel it. My God, to really feel it.
Maybe this has something to do with my dreams, as I sometimes dream of floating and flying in the cosmos.
But this time, I heard myself saying to my own heart, “Change me into someone who can accept being human. Change me into someone who can accept myself, exactly where I am”.
I said in gratitude.
Oh…!! a shooting star!! I say in my delight.
A deep laughter rumbled in my belly, and joyously I laughed. At the magic I had just felt.
And I stared and I stared, with beauty in my heart.